Couples Accompaniment
Couples
Accompaniment
“Love one another as I have loved
you”
Worldwide Marriage Encounter is a movement
that helps couples to live out their commitment of their profession of love
they have made on the wedding day. WWME is a pastoral ministry that would help
married couples to renew/to enrich/ to live the sacrament as a Christian family
and to proclaim the value of Marriage and Holy Orders in the Church and in the
world. This program is organized on weekends for the couples. I had attended
the weekends trainings and found it very useful to me. It may be useful for the
other religious who are all involved in the pastoral ministry and building their
respective religious communities. There
are enormous challenges to married life and commitment today. There are ups and
downs, joys and sorrows, success and disappointments in marriage. Pope Francis said, “Marriage is not easy.
It is never easy… but it is so beautiful… it is beautiful.” The most
beautiful part is when a man and woman pledge their love for life. A movement
like Worldwide Marriage Encounter helps to promote weekends to enhance growth
and happiness in married relationships and to make good marriages great.
To Note: Marriage Encounter is designed to give
married couples the opportunity to examine their lives together ... a time to
share their feelings, their hopes, disappointments, joys and frustrations ...
and to do so openly and honestly in a face-to-face, heart-to-heart encounter
with the one person they have chosen to live with for the rest of their life. The
emphasis of Marriage Encounter is on communication between husband and wife,
who spend the weekend together away from the distractions and the tensions of
everyday life, to concentrate on each other.
Divine Call is the Source of Inspiration for ME
My journey with WWME, is a
great inspiration for me and to know about Marriage encounter (ME) from the sharing
by the couples. I have seen many of the couples leading a holy life, showing
good example for the other couples, in the Church and more than that in their
Marriage encounter ministry. As I have seen their struggle in leading a holy
life because they have many challenges in the family living but they are
together because they have understood each other. It is a God’s gift that each
and every member of ME is called by God to bear witness as couples and to be a
source of inspiration for other couples. I feel that God called me through Mr.
Dorairaj and Ms. Mary Alphonsa to encounter the couples. It is a call within a
call to do Marriage Encounter ministry as a Salesian of Don Bosco (SDB). I had
the opportunity to attend weekend programmes and have undergone many changes being
a religious priest living in communities. At present Fr. Arulkumar SDB has appointed as
the National Ecclesial Team (NET) coordinating priest. There are 5 units in
Tamil Nadu as the active ME Unit Coordination Team (UCT) and planning to reach
out the other diocese.
Importance
of Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekends
Couples and priests are invited to take
part in a marriage encounter weekend which is set in a loving atmosphere. It is
designed to help married couples communicate more intimately with each other in
order to deepen and enrich their relationship. We all live in a very busy
world, constantly on the move from one activity to another and very often do
not have time for our spouse or ourselves.
A marriage encounter weekend helps a
couple to be together alone, to be away from all the distractions, to take time
out, to focus on their relationship and to reconnect with the spouse. The
effect of the weekend will leave a couple renewed in their commitment, restore
communication and rekindle romance in their married relationship. The weekend
fans the flames of the amber of love and leaving a couple refreshingly all over
in love again. In the marriage encounter we believe that a couple does not
‘need’ a weekend but rather ‘deserves’ a weekend because they are spending the
time for the most important and precious relationship with their spouse. It
reminds them of how special a couple’s love is for each other and how strong
they can grow together.
Continual
Renewal of Love
A priest or a religious is also a
part of the Marriage Encounter weekend. Just as a couple has made a lifelong
commitment, so too a priest has made a lifelong commitment to the Church, the
people of God. The sacrament of matrimony and priesthood are parallel
sacraments. It deepens his relationship with his people as he encounters
himself in the weekend and is better able to understand the struggles of his
people, the joys and sorrows of his people and helps in communication at a
deeper level.
Pastoral Accompaniment
Pastoral care
must take the priority in the church and the couples have a special attention in this. We must be patient
and merciful to those who find themselves living in grave danger of breaking
their relationships. They are to be treated as Jesus did to the poor, weak,
suffering, and wounded. However, the pastoral priority, indicated by Amoris Laetitia
for the present time, is to prevent as far as possible wounds, divisions,
and marriage failures. “Today, more important than before, the pastoral care of
failures is the pastoral effort to strengthen marriages and thus to prevent
their breakdown” (AL 307; cf. ibid., 211).
We must confidently and
patiently develop organic family
pastoral care, including remote and immediate marriage preparation and,
after the wedding, the formation of the couple and especially the young
spouses (cf. AL 200; 202; 207; 208; 227;
229; 230). For this, personal closeness and family encounters, small groups and
communities are more beneficial than convoked assemblies and crowded meetings.
With this aim, it is necessary to promote the protagonism of the families
themselves and their missionary responsibility (“families which go forth”),
while emphasizing, among other things, the cooperation of movements and
ecclesial associations.
To conclude …
Marriage Encounter couples share the
incredible gift of their “couple power” to the world around. Worldwide Marriage
Encounter hopes to reach out to many more married couples, priests and
religious bringing Marriage Encounter to many more countries and dioceses. When
I did a Marriage Encounter weekend it changed my perspective of my priesthood,
it helped me to grow in the conviction of being there for my people. In every
weekend programme I had experienced that I was rejuvenated and invariably at
the end of the weekend programme I could sense the energy and vibrancy of the
entire atmosphere that had changed because of the sharing of the participants.
It is an amazing experience that refuels and renews the love that God has
placed in our hearts for Jesus himself says, “Love one another as I have loved
you,” and was expressed by giving his life for his bride the Church.
The ME couples,
priest and religious are chosen by God for a great mission to take forward the
marriage encounter programme to the couples.
Love is at the Service of Others - think the term of couples
Love
is at the Service of Others
"You shall love your neighbor as yourself"
( Lk 19:18)
We say,“I love
this person.”It means I see him or her with the eyes of God, who gives us
everything for our happiness. This helps me more to find ways to help the outcast
in the society. Love helps others and is ever ready to do anything for others. In
this way,thecouples promise love everyday by the simple gesture of doing good
to one another without hurting.
The sacrament of
marriage is intended “to perfect the couple’s Love” as scripture says, “Even if
I have faith, so as to remove mountains but have not love, I am nothing.”Love
must be the first priority for the couples. Love is experienced and nurtured in
the daily life of the couple and their children. It is helpful to thrust more
deeply the meaning of this Pauline text (1 Cor15:4-7) and its relevance to the concrete
situation of every family. God’s love is proclaimed through conjugal love and
through their children.The family extendsits love for the neighbors around.Love
shows compassion and acceptance. It welcomes people as they are.Sometimes
people act differently because they need love.The family welcomes and reaches
out to others, especially the poor and the neglected where they can share their
love.
Jesus asks us to
share our love towards the neighbor who is in need. Is it possible for us to extend
our hands to help needypeople?Jesus asks us not to decide who is close enough
to be our neighbour, but rather we ourselves become neighbours to all. Pope
Francis says in the encyclical FratelliTutti:The
Parable of Good Samaritan shows the best example to share the love for
neighbours (Lk 10:25-37). Love does not care where the wounded brother comes
from.Because it is love that breaks the chains that isolate and separate us,
building bridges; love that allows us to build a big family where we all can
feel at home. Love that smacks of compassion and dignity.Love does not care whether
a brother or sister in need comes from one place or another. St. Ignatius of Loyolasaid
that Love is shown more by deeds than by words. It thus shows its fruitfulness
and allows as to experience the happiness of giving.It manifests the nobility
and grandeur of spending ourselves unstintingly, without asking tobe repaid. Ultimately,
love ispurely for the pleasure of giving and serving.
I would like to
narrate what happened during this pandemic to the migrant workers. The epidemic
made the migrant workers to beg food for their survival because the companies
shut the doors of canteens and there is no more service to them. They were
looking forward for the companies to help but that never happened.When we came to
know about their situation, we support them by providing food and food grains
as package for cooking.We also arrangedtransportation for them to reach their
hometown. In this way, we can share love towards the needy people and care for
our own brothers and sisters. Love is shown to neighbors in such acts of random
kindness and thoughtfulness.
The modern era has
givena lot of space for the couple wherein they can free themselves from the
marriage bond and enjoy individual life.This questions the promise that was made
on the wedding day. Though there are misunderstanding between couples, they can
come together for a dialogue.It showsthat there is love binding them together in
spite of all inabilities. People may hate you, but there is good in them that help
us to love them. Above all, they are images of God.The scripture says, “Love one
another as I have loved you.” We must love ourselves first, thenwe can to
extend it to others. “Let each of you look not only to his own intentions, but
also to the intentions of others” (Phil 2:4).
How can we help
the couplesto understand their love for each other? Howcould they share their
love towards the neighbors or the needy people?
Can we take care
of the people in need love and show care for each other?
Will we bend down
to touch and heal the wounds of others? Will we bend down to shoulder each
other?
Fr. Arulkumar SDB
Regional Ecclesial Team Tamil Nadu
Worldwide Marriage Encounter
தம்பதியர்களிடையே உரையாடல் மலரும் மண உறவு பயிற்சி
தம்பதியர்களிடையே உரையாடல்
மலரும் மண உறவு பயிற்சி
தமிழ்நாடு மண்டல ஒருங்கிணைப்பாளர்
அருட்பணி.
அருள் குமார் ச.ச
உரையாடல்
உரையாடல்
என்பது தம்பதியர்களிடையே நடக்கக் கூடிய பரிமாற்ற நிகழ்வு இது தினந்தோரும் நடக்கக்கூடிய
நிகழ்வுதான் எனினும், கருத்துக்களை பகிர்தலும் பெற்றுக்கொள்ளுதளும் முக்கிய பங்கு வகிக்கின்றது.
இதில் சரிசமமாக பகிர்தல் நடைபெறவேண்டும். இல்லையேல் தம்பதியர்களிடையே உறவு விரிசல்
ஏற்பட வாய்ப்புள்ளது. இந்த உரையாடல் அறிவு பூர்வமானதாக, சிந்திக்கக் கூடிய உரையாடலாக
இல்லாமல் இருந்தால் அந்த உரையாடல் உணர்வுகள் கொண்ட உரையாடலுக்கு கொண்டு சேர்க்கின்றது.
உணர்வுபூர்வமான உரையாடல்
உரையாடல்கள்
என்று பார்த்தால் சாதாரண உரையாடல், உள்ளார்ந்த உரையாடல், உணர்வுபூர்வமான உரையாடல் என்று
வகைப்படுத்தலாம். ஆனால் தம்பதியர்களிடையே உள்ள உரையாடல் உணர்வுமிக்கதாக இருக்கவேண்டும்.
இந்த உரையாடலை தினந்தோறும் செய்ய வேண்டும்.
ஏன் இந்த உரையாடல் என்றால்? உணர்வுபூர்வமான உரையாடல் திறந்த மனதுடன் உணர்வுகளை
வெளிப்படுத்தவும் ஒருவர் ஒருவரை முழுவதுமாக அறிந்து கொள்ளவும் மேலும் எளிதாக பழகுவதற்கும்,
மகிழ்வுடன் வாழவும், உற்சகத்துடனும், துடிப்புடனும் இல்வாழ்வில் இருக்கவும் இந்த உரையாடல்
தம்பதியர்களுக்கு உதவுகின்றது.
தம்பதியர்களின்
தனிப்பட்ட சிந்தனைகள் என்ன இருக்கின்றது என்பதனை அறியவும் அதனை எடுத்துச்சொல்ல துணையை
அனுமதிப்பது பற்றியும் மேலும் இருவரும் எப்படி புரிந்து கொள்ள வேண்டும் என்று ஆழமான
சிந்தனை தாகம் கொண்டிருக்க வேண்டும். இதிலே தான் நம்பிக்கை பிறக்கின்றது. அப்போது திறந்த
மனதுடன் உரையாட துணையினுடைய உணர்வுகளுக்கு மதிப்பளிக்கக் கூடியதாக உரையாடல் அமைகின்றது.
உணர்வுபூர்வமான உரையாட தூண்டுதல் அளித்தல்:
உணர்வுகளை பகிரும்போதுதான் தம்பதியர்கள் உள்ளத்தின்
ஆழத்திற்கு செல்கின்றார்கள். இதில்தான் உரையாடல் வளமுள்ளதாக அமைகின்றது. சில நேரங்களில்
உரையாடலின் போது எதிர்பாராத உணர்வுகள் வெளிப்படும் அதனை முறைப்படுத்தி உறவு வாழ்விற்கும
அன்பு வாழ்விற்கும் உதவும் எனில் அதனை வெளிப்படுத்துதல் தம்பதியர்களிடையே நெருக்கத்தை
ஏற்படுத்துகிறது. நல்ல உணர்வுகள் தம்பதியர்களுக்கு ஊக்கத்தையும் ஆக்கத்தையும தரக்கூடியதாக
அமைகின்றது. இதனை பகிர தூண்டுதல் மிக அவசியமாகிறது.
உரையாடலின் பலன்கள் என்ன என்பதை பற்றி பார்த்தால். உறவை புதுப்பிக்கவும்,
உறவு வாழ்வுக்கு உயிரோட்டம் கொடுக்கவும், மண வாழ்வில் நெருக்கமடையவும் பயனுள்ளதாக அமைவதுமட்டுமல்லாமல்,
தம்பதியர்களின் வாழ்வில் மகிழ்ச்சி அமைதி புரிதல் அன்பு பகிர்தல் அதிகமாகின்றது.
திருதந்தை
பிரான்சிஸ் அவர்கள் அன்பின் மகிழ்ச்சி என்ற திருத்தூதுரையிலே தம்பதியர்களின் உரையாடலின்
அவசியத்தைப் பற்றி 136-141 உள்ள பத்திகளில் குறிப்பிடுகின்றார். உரையாடலில் அன்பை அனுபவிக்க
உணர அதனை வெளிப்படுத்தி பேனிக்காப்பதற்கும் உதவுகிறது உரையாடல் வார்த்தை பரிமாற்றம்
மட்டுமல்ல உடல் மொழி உள்ளமொழி தேவை என்பதை உரைக்கின்றார், உரையாடல் நிகழ்த்த தகுந்த
நேர்த்தியான நேரத்தை தேர்ந்தொடுத்து உரையாடல்
செய்ய வேண்டும் என்பதை அறிவுறுத்துகின்றார்.
உரையாடலிலே
கவனமாக கேட்க வேண்டும், செவிகொடுக்க வேண்டும் மேலும் கவனச்சிதறல்கள் இருக்கக்கூடாது
என்கிறார். தம்பதியர்களிடையே என் குறலை கேட்பதற்கு ஒருவர் இருக்கின்றார் என்ற நம்பிக்கை
உறுதி தருகின்ற வகையில் கேட்டல் மிகவும் அவசியமாகிறது. கேட்கும் போது இடையே பேசாமல்
அமைதிகாத்து அவர்கள் பேசுவதை கேட்டு அவர்களுடைய கருத்தை மாற்ற முயலாமல் கேட்பது அவசியம்
என்கிறார்.
பிரச்சனைகளை முன் வைத்து உரையாடுவதை தவிர்த்தல்
உரையாடலில்
பிரச்சனைகளை முன் வைத்தது உரையாடுவது அல்லது விவாதிப்பதை தவிற்பது நலம் பயக்கும். தம்பதியர்களுக்கு
பயன் தரக்கூடிய மகிழ்வான நிகழ்வுகளை உரையாடலில் கொண்டுவந்து பேசுவது சிறந்த உரையாடலாக
உறவை வழர்க்கக்கூடியதாக அமையும். வாழ்வை பற்றிய நேர்மறை எண்ணங்களை உரையாடலில் நிகழ்த்துவது
அதிக பலன் தரக்கூடியதாக தம்பதியர்களுக்கு உதவும்.
உரையாடலில் தடைகளை நீக்க
உரையாடலில்
வரும் தடைகளை நீக்க அல்லது தேக்கத்தை நீக்க நாம் முன் வரவேண்டும். இந்த குறுக்கீடு
நிகழ்வுகள் உரையாடலை வேறு திசைக்கு திருப்பி எதிர்மறையான உணர்வுகளை வெளிப்படுத்த முயலும்
இதற்கு இந்த தடைகளை தகற்க நுண் திறமை தேவைப்படுகின்றது. தம்பதியர்கள் கசப்புணர்வுகளை
களைந்தும் காயப்படுத்துகின்ற வார்த்தைகளை தவிற்த்தும் புத்துணர்வு ஊட்டுகின்ற வகையிலே
வார்த்தைகளை கையாள வேண்டும். அப்போது தான்
அன்பு செய்கிறவர்கள் என்ன சொல்ல வருகின்றார்கள் என்பதை அனுபவித்து உணர்வுபூர்வமாக உணரமுடியம்.
தம்பதியர்கள் ஒருவருக்கொருவர் நன்கு புரிந்து கொள்ள வாய்ப்பாக அமைகின்றது.
இதிலே
தம்பதியர்கள் கேள்விகளை கேட்டள், கண்களை நேராகப் பார்த்து தொடர்பு கொள்ளுதல், உடலளவில்
உடனிருத்தல், கவனிப்பதற்கான அக்கறையை வெளிப்டுத்துதல், ஆழமான நெருக்கத்தைது தேர்ந்தெடுதத்தல்,
தனிமையான இடத்தை தேர்வுசெய்தல் முக்கிய பங்க வகிக்கின்றது.
தினசரி உரையாடல் பத்து - பத்து: தினசரி உரையாடலில் மலரும் மண உறவு பயிற்சியில்
10-10 முக்கியத்துவம் வகிக்கின்றது.
WEDS
W
- Write எழுதுதல்
E
- Exchange பரிமாற்றம்
D
- Dialogue உரையாடல்
S
- Select the question கேள்வியை
தேர்ந்தெடுத்தல்
துணையின்
உள்ளார்ந்த வளமையை அறிந்து கொள்ள. வாசித்தல் சிந்தித்தல் உரையாடுதல் இது சிறப்பாக உதவும்
மேலும் நம்மை சுற்றி உள்ளவர்களை திறந்த மனதுடன் உரையாடல் வழியாக தான் பேணி வளர்க்க
முடியும். உரையாடலில் உணர்வுகளை வெளிப்படுத்துவது முக்கிய பங்கு வகிக்கின்றது.
எழுதுதல்: தம்பதியர்கள் தங்கள் காதல் கடிதங்களை தங்களுடைய
துணைக்கு எழுதும்போது கவணிக்க வேண்டியது. செல்லப் பெயரிட்டு அன்புடன் எழுதக்கூடிய காதல்
கடிதம். இது விவாத கடிதம் இல்லை என்பதை மனதில் கொள்ள வேண்டும் அதுமட்டுமல்ல கசப்பான
நிகழ்வுகளை தவிற்ப்பது நல்லது. இக்கடிதம் உணர்வுகளந்த அன்பு கடிதமாக இருக்க வேண்டும்
இதன் மூலம் உங்கள் துணையை எவ்வளவுக்கு அதிகமாக அன்பு செய்கின்றீர்கள் என்பதனை உங்கள்
துணை உங்களை அறிந்து கொள்ள உதவுகிறது அன்பு வாழ்விற்கு ஆணிவேறாக அமைகின்றது. எழுதுதல்
பத்து நிமிடம் மட்டுமே போதுமானது.
பரிமாற்றம் செய்தல்: எழுதிய
அன்புக்கடிதத்தை தம்பதியர்கள் பரிமாற்றம் செய்து கொள்ள வேண்டும். இதில் மனைவி எழுதியதை
கணவனிடமும், கணவன் எழுதியதை மனைவிடமும் கொடுத்தல் அவசியம் அதன் பிறகு அமைதியான முறையில்
தன் துணை என்ன காதல் கடிதம் எழுதியிருக்கின்றார்கள் என்பதை வாசிக்க வேண்டும். தங்கள்
துணை எழுதியது உண்மைதான என்று உணரமுடிகின்றதா? என்று உங்கள் உணர்வுகளை வைத்து பாருங்கள்
அது உங்களுக்கு ஏற்றதாக அமைகிறது என்றால் உங்கள் துணை உணர்வுகளை வெளிப்படுத்தியது சரியானதே
என்று ஏற்றுக்கொள்ளுங்கள்.
உரையாடல்: இப்போது நீங்கள் எழுதிய காதல் கடிதத்தை துணையிடம்
பகிருங்கள் கணவன் ஐந்து நிமிடமும் மனைவி ஐந்து நிமிடமும் பகிர்தல் அவசியம். இதிலே தம்பதியர்கள்
தங்களின் காதல் கடிதத்தில் உள்ள ஓர் ஆழமான உணர்வைத் தேர்ந்தெடுத்து, ஒருவரையொருவர்
பார்த்து அந்த உணர்வைப்பற்றி உரையாடலை பகிரலாம்.
உரையாடலில் உடல் மொழியையும் பார்க்கவேண்டும். உணர்வுகளை வெளிப்படுத்தும் விதம் உடல்
மொழியில் அதிகம் வெளிப்படுத்தப்படுகின்றது. இது தன் துணையை உணர்வுபூர்வமாக புரிந்து
கொள்ள உதவுகிறது.
கேள்வியை தேர்ந்தெடுத்தல்: அடுத்த உரையாடலுக்கான தலைப்பைத் தெரிவு செய்தல் முக்கியம்
எனவே உங்களுக்கு தற்சமயம் பொருத்தமாக உள்ள ஒரு தலைப்பைத் தெரிவு செய்யுங்கள் அது உதவியாக இருக்கும். நீங்கள்
உரையாடலுக்கு எடுத்துக் கொள்ளும் தலைப்புகளில் கடவுள், பாலுணர்வு, நிதிநிலைமை, உடைமைகள்,
குழந்தைகள், உறவிணர்கள், உத்தியோகம், இவற்றை கொண்டிருக்க வேண்டும். மற்ற ஏற்ற தலைப்புகளையும்
விணாக்களையும் தேர்வு செய்து உரையாடுவது ஏதுவாக அமையும்.
நிலையை மதிப்பீடு செய்தல்
உரையாடலில்
உணர்வு நிலையை மதிப்பீடு செய்தல் அதற்குண்டான விளக்குகள் குறியீட்டையே அல்லது எண்களை
வைத்து மதிப்பீடு கொடுத்தல் தம்பதியரின் உணர்வு நிலை எந்த நிலையில் இருக்கன்றார்கள்
என்பதை வண்ணங்களினாலும், எண்கள் மூலம் வெளிப்படுத்துதல் உணர்வினுடைய ஆழநிலையை வெளிப்படுத்துகிறது.
உரையாடல் கட்டமைப்பு - WEDS
உரையாடல்
கட்டமைப்பு தம்பதியர்கள் என்ன எதிர்பார்க்கின்றார்கள் என்பதனை எழுத்து மூலமாக எழுதி
விவரிக்கலாம். தம்பதியர்கள் பற்றிய ஒரு வினா எடுத்து அதனை காதல் கடிதமாக ஒருவருக்கொருவர்
எழுதுதல். இதை எழுதுவதற்கு தம்பதியர்கள் தனித்தனியாக சென்று எழுதுவது அதிக பயன் கொடுக்கக்கூடியதாக
அமையும். இதில் தனியாக எழுதும் பொழுது கவனச்சிதரல்கள் ஏற்பட வாய்ப்பில்லை எனலாம். தேர்ந்தொடுக்கப்பட்ட
வினாக்கு உரிய கடிதத்தை உணர்வுபூர்வமாக எழுத முற்படவேண்டும். அந்த உணர்வை அதிகமாக விவரித்து
எழுதுதல் அதிக பலனைக் கொடுக்கும். எழுதி முடித்த பிறகு அவர்கள் தனிமையிலே கடிதத்தை
பரிமாற்றிக் கொள்கின்றார்கள். அதனை வாசிக்கும் போது துணையினுடைய உணர்வுபூர்வமான வரிகள்
உள்ளுணர்வை தூண்ட கூடியதாக இருக்க வேண்டும். இந்த உணர்வுகள் ஏற்கக்கூடிய உணர்வாக துணையினுடைய
உணரப்படவேண்டும்.
அருட்பணி.
அருள் குமார் ச.ச
அகில
உலக மலரும் மண உறவு இயக்கம் தமிழ்நாடு
Worldwide Marriage Encounter WWME Tamil Nadu - My Encounter in ME
Family Ministry
Worldwide Marriage
Encounter (WWME) – WeekendsProgramme for Couples
“Love one another as I have loved
you”
Worldwide Marriage Encounter is a movement that helps couples
to live out their commitment of their profession of love they have made on the
wedding day. WWME is a pastoral ministry that would help married couples to
renew/to enrich/ to live the sacrament as a Christian family and to proclaim
the value of Marriage and Holy Orders in the Church and in the world. This
program is organized on weekends for the couples. I had attended the weekends
trainings and found it very useful to me. It may be useful for the other religious
who are all involved in the pastoral ministry and building their respective
religious communities. There are
enormous challenges to married life and commitment today. There are ups and
downs, joys and sorrows, success and disappointments in marriage. Pope Francis
said, “Marriage is not easy. It is never easy… but it is so beautiful… it is
beautiful.” The most beautiful part is when a man and woman pledge their love
for life. A movement like Worldwide Marriage Encounter helps to promote weekends
to enhance growth and happiness in married relationships and to make good
marriages great.
Divine Call is the Source of Inspiration for ME
My journey with WWME, is a great inspiration for me and
to know about Marriage encounter (ME) from the sharing by the couples. I have
seen many of the couples leading a holy life, showing good example for the
other couples, in the Church and more than that in their Marriage encounter
ministry. As I have seen their struggle in leading a holy life because they
have many challenges in the family living but they are together because they
have understood each other. It is a God’s gift that each and every member of ME
is called by God to bear witness as couples and to be a source of inspiration
for other couples. I feel that God called me through Mr. Dorairaj and Ms. Mary
Alphonsa to encounter the couples. It is a call within a call to do Marriage
encounter ministry as a Salesian of Don Bosco (SDB). I had the opportunity to
attend weekend programmes and have undergone many changes being a religious
priest living in communities.
HISTORY of WWME
The
Marriage Encounter movement dates back to the late 1950s. In Barcelona, a newly
ordained
Spanish priest was challenged by a young couple who wanted to find a way to
serve
God
and man within their marriage. Marriage
Encounter traces its roots to Spain. In working with young people in the
parish, the Diocesan Laborer priest Gabriel Calvo realized how important it is
for the growth and upbringing of children that their parents must live in
harmony. He designed an instrument that would facilitate and deepen dialogue
between the husband and wife and to strengthen the "I will" that they
bear in their hearts. This was presented as a weekend retreat in Spain in 1962.
In 1967, the experience reached the United States of America through the
Christian Family Movement. In the New York area, the "marriage encounter
weekends" were standardized and enriched by a number of married couples
and by the Jesuit priest Fr. Chuck Gallagher. Soon these weekends were being
presented in the ten most Catholic cities in the United States. The New York
branch of the movement became known as Worldwide Marriage Encounter after the
international expansion began in 1972.
IDENTITY
The movement exists to help
married couples live their relationship intimately and responsibly; to
understand and better their role within the Church. The foundational experience
is the Worldwide Marriage Encounter retreat animated by the testimony of three
married couples and a priest who deal with various aspects of daily living.
Participants learn to communicate at a deeper level using the technique of
dialogue. Priests and religious who wish to authentically live their own
vocation may also participate. There is community support to continue the
dialoguing lifestyle and to provide further formation. The movement fosters the
integration of married couples and families into the parishes which encourages
them to use their sacramental love for service in the Church and in the world.
Worldwide
Marriage Encounter India
In 1970, Fr. Peter de Sousa, a Redemptorist Priest who was
sent to the United States for a course in Psychology and Counseling happened to
do a weekend and was inspired to carry that dream to India. He came down with a
young couple, Pat and Dick Lexandro with two infant boys, to initiate the
movement in India. Bangalore was the hub from where the movement was carried to
the other cities and towns across India. Later it was translated in the
vernacular and now there are weekends in English, Hindi, Tamil and Malayalam
and soon may be in Bengali and Telugu.
Importance of a
Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekends
Couples and priests are invited to take part in a marriage
encounter weekend which is set in a loving atmosphere. It is designed to help
married couples communicate more intimately with each other in order to deepen
and enrich their relationship. We all live in a very busy world, constantly on
the move from one activity to another and very often do not have time for our
spouse or ourselves.
A marriage encounter weekend helps a couple to be together
alone, to be away from all the distractions, to take time out, to focus on their
relationship and to reconnect with the spouse. The effect of the weekend will
leave a couple renewed in their commitment, restore communication and rekindle
romance in their married relationship. The weekend fans the flames of the amber
of love and leaving a couple refreshingly all over in love again. In the
marriage encounter we believe that a couple does not ‘need’ a weekend but
rather ‘deserves’ a weekend because they are spending the time for the most
important and precious relationship with their spouse. It reminds them of how
special a couple’s love is for each other and how strong they can grow
together.
Continual
Renewal of Love
WWME VISION
WWME
MISSION
To
proclaim the values of Marriage and Holy Orders in the Church and in the world
CHARISM
The
Charism of worldwide marriage encounter is “faith through Relationship’
ORGANISATION
WWME is governed at every level (local, diocesan, regional, national) by
Ecclesial Teams made up of a priest and a married couple. At the worldwide
level, the movement is coordinated by the International Ecclesial Team,
assisted by six Ecclesial Teams who represent the existing Secretariats for
Africa, Asia, Europe, Latin America, North America and the Pacific.
Worldwide Marriage Encounter is present in 90 countries as
follows: Africa (15), Asia (13), Europe (26), North America (12), Pacific (4),
and Latin America (20).
FOUR PILLARS
1.
Community 2. Structure 3. Weekend 4. Presenting Team
PUBLICATIONS
‘Prime Time’ WWME Magazine -
quarterly publications at the national level in India
Marriage
Encounter for Couples
Worldwide
Marriage Encounter offers a weekend experience designed to give married couples
the opportunity to learn a technique of loving communication that they can use
for the rest of their lives. It's a chance to look deeply into their
relationship with each other and with God. It's a time to share their feelings,
hopes and dreams with each other.
The
emphasis of the Marriage Encounter weekend is on the communication between
husbands and wives. The weekend provides a conducive environment for couples to
spend time together, away from the distractions and tensions of everyday life,
while encouraging them to focus on each other and their relationship.
It's
not a retreat, marriage clinic, group sensitivity, or a substitute for
counseling. It's a unique approach aimed at revitalizing Marriage.
This is a time for husband and wife to
be alone together, to rediscover each other and together focus on their
relationship for an entire weekend. Every marriage deserves such a kind of
attention and should be built up in their respective family living.
Marriage
Encounter for Priest
As
a priest, the individual may have promoted WWME among the parishioners and may
be aware of Worldwide Marriage Encounter’s
effectiveness in bringing couples closer together and often transforming or even
saving marriages. The weekends are
designed in such a way that both priests and religious can participate fully.
The principles of love, commitment and effective communication translate quite
easily to the relationships they have with everyone with whom they have
dedicated their life to serving. This new way of communication is both specific
and adaptable. Any one will be able to use it in virtually to every
relationship and situation. Priests who have made a weekend recall the
experience as “life enhancing.” WWME invites the diocesan or religious priest
to take part in this weekend programme and became a team priest to give
weekends.
Purpose of Marriage Encounter
The purpose of Marriage Encounter is to assist a couple to discover their marriage through ongoing mutual trust and dialogue. This unique method of dialogue means prayerful, personal reflection and mutual sharing, which leads to the enrichment of themarital relationship and growth of the man and woman as individuals and as a couple. With the family as the fundamental cell of society and the married couple as the heart of the family, the Marriage Encounter experience strengthens families and communities. Marriage Encounter respects and supports the couples as they discover their own dignity, uniqueness, and creativity. It is essential that married couples continually strive to discover the presence and action of God in their individual and family lives, according to their own beliefs. Marriage Encounter follow-up programs enable couples to continue their growth.
Covai
UCT Photo with National Ecclesial Team (NET) couple and priest Mr.John & Ms.
Wendy Fr. Rubert Arulvalan
My Encounter in Marriage Encounter (ME)
I came to know about
this WWME from Mr. Dorairaj &
Ms. Alphonsa and I joined this programme by
attending
Weekend programme at Coiambatore and
Sayathurai. It was a
wonderful experience to see the
commitment of the couples in the training.
This movement has also encouraged the
priest and religious to take part in further training and to join the team. I had the chance to attend this programme and
my religious community witnessed the fruits of the training. Therefore my Salesian
community encouraged me to take part in this ME Programme. I organized the weekend programme at Don Bosco
NEST with ME (Marriage Encounter) – UCT (Unit coordinating team) team couples Mr.
Dorairaj & Alphonsa and Mr. Lawerence & Rosline and Fr. Rosario ME team
priest for Coimbatore Diocese. In that
Weekend programme seven couples participated and three couples completed the
training.
Coimbatore Diocese Marriage Encounter Team UCT
Priest -2, couples -2
Mr.
Dorairaj&Alphonsa – UCT
Mr.
Lawerence&Rosline – Secretary
Fr. Rosario - UCT -Team Priest
Fr. Arul kumar SDB –
Team priest
Weekends Programme Attended
Original Weekend: 2–
1.
St. Antony’s Church,Vadavalli Coimbatore
Deeper Weekend: Loyola
Retreat Center, Pune
Mr.John and Ms. Wendy along with Fr. Abhay S.J gave training in deeper WE at Pune from the
28th of Feb to 1st March. It was a very an enriching experience for me to be
with couples and priests in the deeper training. Fr. Abhay’s animated us in a
creative way to get the responses from us. Four couples and Five priests made
the journey in this deeper weekend and were commissioned to take the light of
ME to every corners of the world.
Conferences
WWME
National Conference at Tiruchy – Oct 2018
The 39th WWME National conference was
held at Pune from 27th to 30th October 2019 and it was a witness to selfless
love, dedication, commitment and unity among the Pune Team couples. National Conference was attended by
representatives from 11 Units from all over India. The Pune teams were one in heart
and mind and worked very hard to host the meeting. The theme was ‘Call to
Holiness’ which dwelt on the formation of the couples and it was presented by
NET. Rt. Rev. Thomas Dabre, Bishop of Pune presided over the inaugural mass and
graced the opening ceremony with his presence. Fr. Milton Gonsalves, Secretary
of the CCBI Family Commission also participated in the meeting. It was a time
of sharing of the joys and sorrows as we reported our efforts to renew the
church through Marriage Encounter Weekends and other programmes.
Elected as the RET (Regional Ecclesial Team) priest in Tamil Nadu – Feb
2020
In
the Pune conference we had decided to have a meeting at Chennai because there
was vacancy in the leadership at the regional level and the need to elect the
RET. We organized the meeting as we had planned in Chennai with the help of Fr.
Andrew and Mr. Charles & Catherine UCT. In that meeting we had elected RET
couples and priest. They unanimously elected me as the Regional Ecclesial Team
Priest (RET).
In Detail
Report of ME Programme at Chennai
We had two days ME programme at
Pastoral centre, Santhome, in Chennai on 8th and 9th Feb 2020. The
programme commenced with Holy Spirit song followed by prayer. UCTs from
Chennai, Trichy, and Tuticorin with ME couples and Priests attended the
programme. Fr ARULKUMAR SDB also attended from Coimbatore unit. Focus had
been given to sort out the difference that prevailed among the couples in
RET. There was an open and free discussion and the past
misunderstanding were sorted out.
Present
Planning
for the Marriage Encounter Weekend Programme with Team
Weekend
Programme Organized at Don Bosco NEST Tirupur
Thanks to Salesian Community & Team Couple
I would like to thank
Don Bosco NEST community for supporting me to take forward this WWME programme
to the couples.
Pastoral Accompaniment
Pastoral care
must take the priority in the church and the couples have a special attention in this. We must be patient
and merciful to those who find themselves living in grave danger of breaking
their relationships. They are to be treated as Jesus did to the poor, weak,
suffering, and wounded. However, the pastoral priority, indicated by Amoris Laetitia
for the present time, is to prevent as far as possible wounds, divisions,
and marriage failures. “Today, more important than before, the pastoral care of
failures is the pastoral effort to strengthen marriages and thus to prevent
their breakdown” (AL 307; cf. ibid., 211).
We must confidently and patiently
develop organic family pastoral care,
including remote and immediate marriage preparation and, after the wedding, the
formation of the couple and especially the young spouses (cf. AL 200; 202; 207; 208; 227; 229; 230).
For this, personal closeness and family encounters, small groups and
communities are more beneficial than convoked assemblies and crowded meetings.
With this aim, it is necessary to promote the protagonism of the families
themselves and their missionary responsibility (“families which go forth”),
while emphasizing, among other things, the cooperation of movements and
ecclesial associations.
To Conclude …
Marriage Encounter couples share the incredible gift of
their “couple power” to the world around. Worldwide Marriage Encounter hopes to
reach out to many more married couples, priests and religious bringing Marriage
Encounter to many more countries and dioceses. May God continue to bless the
growth of Worldwide Marriage Encounter. When I did a Marriage Encounter weekend
it changed my perspective of my priesthood, it helped me to grow in the
conviction of being there for my people. In every weekend programme I had
experienced that I was rejuvenated and invariably at the end of the weekend programme
I could sense the energy and vibrancy of the entire atmosphere that had changed
because of the sharing of the participants. It is an amazing experience that
refuels and renews the love that God has placed in our hearts for Jesus himself
says, “Love one another as I have loved you,” and was expressed by giving his
life for his bride the Church.
As the e ME couples, priest and religious are chosen by God for a great mission to take forward the marriage encounter programme to the couples.
To help us help more couples in “your
parishes” learn about Marriage Encounter:
Call for Weekend programme
WWME
Pamphlets
Mass Talks/Information Table
WWME Information in your Parish Bulletin
WWME Information in your Parish Website
Contact
us : Fr. Arul kumar SDB, RET 8489891394 Jayakumar & Girija 9344217427
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மணமக்களின் மன்றாட்டு ஆண்டவராகிய இயேசுகிறிஸ்துவுக்கும் திருச்சபைக்கும் இடையே உள்ள ஒன்றிப்பைப்போன்று, உலகில் மக்களின் வளர்ச்சிக்காகவும், அ...
