The Best Kept Secret
We are Susana and Josico, and together with Fr. Jun we are the international team of world-wide marriage encounter. We have been married\ for more than 30 years. We live in Madrid, Spain, and in December it will be 25 years since we lived our original weekend. We are very happy to be here with you today, on a very important day for our World Community of Marriage Encounter. We feel like when you celebrated your birthday as a child and waited impatiently for your friends to arrive.
Today we wanted to gather couples and priests from ALL over the world to share with you a surprise, a little secret, a novelty that wants to symbolize the response of Worldwide Marriage Encounter to this changing world. Change. Transform. Convert. Three verbs that have a lot to say to us in these moments of crisis. That is what we are going to talk about today... about the reality that is changing around us and the effect that this has on us as couples and as priests.
Hi everyone! I'm Fr. Jun Limbaga here, a diocesan priest from the Diocese of Dumaguete, Philippines, your IET priest along with Susana and Josico, as ecclesial team. I am so happy to connect with all of you! So, come on, let's start our celebration with a prayer. In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen. Heavenly Father, thank you for gathering us virtually as one Worldwide Marriage Encounter family. Thank you for sustaining us with your love and your grace, amidst our daily challenges in relationships and in the ministry and in spite of the trials we have to embrace in this pandemic. Send us your Holy Spirit, to constantly fill our hearts with the fire of Your love. Transform our heart and our situations. Enlighten our minds with creativity and sustain our courage and our joy, so that even with our limiting circumstances, even with our changing times, we continue the mission of proclaiming the sacraments of marriage and the priesthood in the world, in a manner that is relevant, timely and meaningful. Grant us the grace to constantly make the memory of Jesus alive, to joyfully tell the world of His love and to advocate forgiveness and healing in our relationships. This we pray, through Christ our Lord. Amen. In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.
We have entitled this
meeting "The Best Kept secret". Many of you have asked us about the secret...
and all we can tell you is that today we will reveal it. For this reason, we
have invited the members of the World Council to accompany us in this virtual
meeting, which we want to be a moment of encounter that helps us to feel united
and committed to our mission. So first, we would like to introduce you to the
members of the Council: Danielle & Clarel with Fr. Eddie, from Mauritius.
Africa. Nini & Benjie from the Philippines, with Abhay from India. Asia.
Paola & Felice from Italy with Ralph from Belgium. Europe. Mª Elena & José Antonio from El Salvador, with Fr. Arturo from Nicaragua. América Latina. Sue & Joe from US, with Fr. Salvador from Canada, North America. And finally, Nia & Wani from Fiji, with Fr. Mike from New Zealand, representing Pacific.
You, the teams responsible for each of the continents, are a fundamental support in ensuring that the mission of World Marriage Encounter develops throughout the world. Thank you for you are. We want you to feel part of this great family that is present in 90 countries around the world. Are you ready? Do you have your notebooks and pens? And the popcorn?
Fr. Jun: For more than 50 years Worldwide Marriage Encounter has offered the world a unique and wonderful experience, which has been able to change the lives of millions of couples and thousands of priests and consecrated people. All of us, around the world, who have lived the experience know that Worldwide Marriage Encounter has changed our lives significantly. And we all know the secret of that change, don't we? Today in 2020, immersed in one of the greatest crises that humanity has ever experienced, the crisis of COVID-19, we have experienced change in one of its most disturbing forms. Our lives have changed and have been filled with uncertainty. And that uncertainty is accompanied by strong feelings of fear, anger or desolation.
Couple: When we first began hearing about COVID 19 around the world I began to pray for all those affected, but they were a faraway it seemed. Then all of a sudden, it was knocking on our own front door. We were ordered to Shelter in Place, schools were closed, businesses were closed. Life as we knew it changed in an instant. We no longer could attend Mass and go to dinner with our son and his wife on Saturday evenings. Getting together with friends and family were a mere memory. I realized that what I really needed to focus on were my relationships, with family, friends and most certainly God. The busyness that had taken up so much of my time now seemed unimportant.
Fr. Abhay: Due to this COVID-19 pandemic my mobility has been curtailed and contact with people restricted and diminished. I feel caged and chained – I want to but cannot. I feel angry, experience pain and sadness at the sufferings and hardships of people especially the poor.
C: It has been the first time for at least 32
years of marriage that I have spent so many days, around 60 days, at home with
Danielle and our two adult kids. I had to make room for our different
characters and needs. I also had to work on virtual platforms which had to be
developed and adapted to this particular situation. As we have not been living
so many hours and days together, some personality traits became
more obvious and I had to adapt to these differences. I felt that there were many expectations and I decided to be more patient as all around me were trigger points for impatience. I am happy to have taken this decision as we finally could live together in harmony and respect for each other.
Priest: I had always turned away from the new
technologies, describing them as too complicated and myself as too old. The way
forward for me, was the decision to continue writing my feelings in my daily
dialogue and get in touch with my fears and confusion of the new technology.
Making the decision to buy the camera was the occasion of my going beyond the
old resistances. I was grinning like a cat when I finally used
the camera. The result
of this choice was a joyful freedom, like breaking the invisible bonds of fear
and confusion preventing me from flying.
C: Before the Pandemic of COVID–19 appeared on the horizon, we had plans and dreams, especially as we were just newly selected to be the Pacific Leadership. We had big hopes for moving forward and getting to know our Pacific Community. We became aware of the changes and decisions we have to make through our dialogue and prayers. The most important loving decision we have made to make these changes happen, was putting aside hobbies, my own time, grandchildren and striving to listen to each other with our hearts The result of these choices has been building intimacy, trust and acceptance of our differences and listening. We experience feelings of joy, closeness, hope, confident and freedom.
P: When the crisis started, I was very quickly afraid of being alone. I, who generally like to be alone in my little house, realized that I missed the physical presence of others. Video conferencing was available, but it didn't fill the emptiness that was slowly building up inside me. But there are still fears as well. In my life, there are hardly any people to whom I can express my closeness through concrete gestures. I can't touch others, and in many situations, you have to keep your distance or wear a mask. Even if I don’t want to, this is still an obstacle to a real encounter with people.
Fr. Jun: As we see, a situation like the crisis of the
COVID19, changes our environment, and that makes us face unknown situations.
Beyond this crisis, which has meant an abrupt and deep change for all of us,
life and the world are permanently facing new situations of change,
which make us react to
adapt. We now invite you to have a dialogue on this point by briefly answering
the following question:
What has changed in your life due to the COVID 19 crisis? And what are your dominant feelings?
Susana and Josico: We heard from Abhay, Clarel and Danielle, Fr Mike, Sue and Joe, Nia and Wani and Ralph who shared examples of how the crisis of the COVID has led them to react and adapt: they have changed. On other occasions our change does not arise from a reaction or a need to adapt, as we have been able to do during these months of the COVID, but rather it arises from a personal decision. It is a change that has a why, that has a purpose. It is a proactive change that seeks to achieve a goal. When change arises from a decision and pursues an objective it has a special power: the power to transform myself.
Surely, we have all experienced processes of transformation, in which we have chosen to achieve a goal. An even more powerful purpose is when we do something for someone, moved by our love.
C: We will now listen to 2 testimonies where we see how the decision to love has led Paola & Felice and Fr. Salvador to be transformed during this crisis of the COVID. Covid-19 has radically changed my work. I used to operate on my patients, who came out of the hospital recovered. Afterwards, I took over from my sick colleagues and took care of the terminally ill, many times accompanying them to their deaths. Before I approached many people, then I tried to keep them at a distance. The dominant feeling was a sense of helplessness. The relationship between Paola and me has changed for two long months, even though we lived under the same roof as separated people, as castaway on two nearby, but separate islands, communicating with each other with the help of social workers. I also cut the bridges with my son and grandson who live near us. I would never forgive myself if, because of me, some loved ones got sick. The result of this isolation was to anesthetize feelings, the feeling of living a nightmare, without being able to wake up. like an earthquake that damages a city, but becomes an opportunity to build more beautiful and safer houses.
C:As a new birth, I decided to take my life back
into my own hands. Then I thought about how I could be the woman I was, in a new
way, with the tools (quality skills) I had at my disposal. Like a blind woman,
she develops her other senses, I, who could not have physical contact with you,
decided to embrace you with my eyes and voice, using a softer gaze, sweeter
words. This allowed me to continue to love and feel
loved.
P: A big change for me is I have been working more than ever. I am writing letters to my parishioners and calling them more to ask how they are doing.Now people can come in limited numbers and they are expressing that they feel God closer to them because of my words. Before I related with most parishioners only during Mass. I know that people might not feel that you belong to them unless you enter their houses and in their lives. With my decision I was able to get in both. I feel privileged to be able to be a more important part of their lives than before. I feel privileged like when going to a new parish and many former parishioners accompanied me in my first weekend Mass. Changes are emerging from this new situation so I realized that I have to change myself. I prayed for that, and undoubtedly this is the most important decision. By changing myself I have been able to keep doing the mission God brought me here for. I feel challenged like a caterpillar that only by changing can become a butterfly. By changing myself I was able to change my relationship with my community and to make it stronger.
Fr. Jun: The
decision to change is something that can transform our lives. But there is an
evendeeper and more transcendent transformation: when the fruit of an
experience transforms our purpose and the meaning of our life acquiring another
dimension. We call that transformation
conversion. A change of mind. A change of heart. A change of life. Conversion is the When we let the spirit touch us and convert us, our ability to change transcends us, we touch the lives of others.
C: Our children's ever-increasing demands, the upkeep of our household and job concerns were just too overwhelming for me. Worse, I judged that Benjie was not doing enough to lighten my load. I felt resentful and drained both physically and emotionally, but I didn't want to tell him, for fear of being misunderstood and rejected. Job-related pressure and worries that I wasn't providing enough for our family have gotten the best of me. I felt so meager and insecure and I did not want Nini to know about it, I tried to seek comfort in the company of friends, but this just made the gap between us grow wider.
The most important
loving decision we made was to open up ourselves to the change process. We
thought attending a Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekend was a good time for us
to be alone together and a different way to celebrate our wedding anniversary,
thus, we readily
said YES to the couple
friend who invited us. That decision made us choose to live the rest of our
lives in love to the fullest, fight for our relationship and keep our marriage
strong even in the midst of the most difficult situations.
C:Maria Elena has been a very strong woman, an
entrepreneur. Since we got married it was a bastion for our home, - At that
time what abounded most was scarcity. We had our dreams, we set our goals, that
we have fulfilled half of them. She's been there, together, shoulder to
shoulder, enjoying every success, crying every failure. Suddenly his spine
begins to fail and his mobility is reduced. She cries for the impotence of not
being able to keep up with me. The almost 9-hour operation to place a metal structure,
is the beginning of frustration. The sadness and fear of seeing her like this asks
me to be patient and careful in talking to her. To know how to persuade her that
everything is the same; that it is not true that physical mobility delays
intellectual mobility and that her contribution is as much or more than mine.
In this situation I see
how Jose Antonio works more, doubles himself, makes an effort, and sleeps less.
I see him tired and I think it's because of me. When we talk about it, he moves
more, he gets more ready, and so when I realize that many things are almost
finished. I know that love is with us, and that there is a new way to follow.
Jose Antonio told me in one of these dialogues, "Life is like that, during
these 37 years I have often been weak, broken, shot at and you lifted me up,
you struggled, ¡you gave your life for me. Today what I do is nothing compared
to...
I feel very grateful to
God for generating peace of mind and giving us the satisfaction of having done
and still doing the right thing. As you can see, the result of having a deep
dialog with Maria Elena was to transform our mentality from discouragement to
joy. We know that we have a god of life who loves us and calls us to enjoy it
and to be better and to transcend by transmitting our joy to others.
C: Not long ago we received a phone call from one of our local team couples who informed us that a couple of the Muslim faith wished to attend our Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekend experience. They asked us if this was permissible. We said, absolutely, couples from all faith denominations are welcome on the weekend. Sue and I agreed to be that couples Prayer couple for the weekend. On Sunday after the Eucharistic Celebration, as is our custom, all Prayer couples are there to greet their couple who lived the weekend. As we talked with them, they shared how touched they were by the beauty of the talks and experiences shared by the presenting team. They were moved to tears as they witnessed the love and vulnerability these couples shared. They also mentioned how powerful and informative it was to hear a Priest share so deeply and so intimately and learning the beauty of what Sacrament is. They hugged us as they were getting prepared to leave, thanked us so dearly for allowing them to attend and then they looked up at us and said; ”Would you be willing to help us bring this beautiful experience to our faith?” WOW, what an incredible moment that was for Sue and I to witness the impact that our experience had on this couple.
C: My cousin and god son is deaf and married to a deaf girl too. They have a son of 8 years who is not deaf. Last December they separated after some difficult moments where lack of communication has helped worsen the situation.We decided to help them even if we had no tools for communication with deaf people. They accepted and we also asked for an interpreter of sign language to assist us. The day before we met, I drew lots of smileys to introduce the feelings. As they can write, I bought two notebooks to offer them, to invite them to practice the written dialogue. Because our couple power touched them, this young couple accepted our help.
Susana and Josico: The experiences we have heard here from Benjie & Nini, from José Antonio & Mª Elena, from Joe and Sue and from Danielle & Clarel, are good examples of the power of conversion that the weekend has on us and on others.
The best kept secret of Worldwide Marriage Encounter is precisely this: when we let the spirit act in the original weekend, we live a conversion experience. Many of us have experienced it. When we talk about the fact that there has been a before and an after in our lives, we are expressing that we have been converted, that the meaning of our life has been transformed into something different and, even if we are not aware of it, that the spirit has acted in us.
Song:
Love, love changes
everything, hands and faces, earth and skyLove, love changes everything,
How you live and how you
die Love, can make the summer fly, or a night seem like a life time
Yes love, love changes
everything, Now I tremble at your name.
Nothing in the world will ever be the same
Susana and Josico: As we said before, the world is changing at a rapid pace. In this context I wonder, has Worldwide Marriage Encounter lost the ability to change the world? Has Worldwide Marriage Encounter lost the ability to convert? Many of us are reluctant to answer this question in the affirmative... and at the same time many of us live with sadness, concern and helplessness, the impact that today's society has on today's marriages.
Fr. Abhay: Jesus himself took time to understand us humans and learn our ways. There is so much diversity in the world; multiple languages, variety of cultures, different understandings of family,
C: A vibrant sign for us means that we are in the world, but not of the world. The challenges we see around us are the fruits of the living the World’s plan: Instant gratifications – quick ways of avoiding pain, instant way of life, and compensatory behaviours Just Surviving. Being content to a comfortable way of living, no risks taken. Self-protection being Independent, thinking of my own comfort. And the distractions - new gadgets that take you to another world, new ways of avoiding reality The signs of the times are people looking for LIFE and not just surviving. They are thirsting for Values that lasts and not what the world offers.
C: In a world where distances between people are increasing, we have a message of closeness to share. Through dialogue, also through the non-verbal expressions of our bodies, we can bear witness to our decision to love the other as he or she is.
Susana and Josico: The world is changing. If we want Worldwide Marriage Encounter to continue to be a path of conversion for the world, we not only have to adapt, we have to decide to change, taking the reins of our role in the world, and accepting the challenge of our transformation as a movement. A transformation that must lead us to be relevant to the world, while remaining what we are. How do we show the world that Worldwide Marriage Encounter has a message to offer to the couples and priests of today?
Fr. Abhay: Worldwide Marriage Encounter desires to transform the world through the family, through the relationship of husband and wife, and the relationships of Priests with Community. How are we going to get there – maybe highways or byways or mud roads or forest trails?
C: I believe we need to address many fronts. At times, we can be our own worst enemy. Initially, we need to continue to work on formation of our encountered couples to help them discover what it means to be a Missionary Disciple. We also need to help others understand the importance of embracing change and not becoming complacent. We need to realize that our world is constantly evolving and we must be willing to change but at the same time be faithful and uphold the integrity of our ministry and church. And…we need to keep Jesus at the heart of our ministry.
C:While our propositions and values will always remain relevant, people, especially the younger generations will never experience the Weekend and its transformational capability if they don't hear about it.
C:One of our challenges in Worldwide Marriage Encounter today is that we need to meet the couples and priests where they are today. Their reality today is very different from when we lived our experience. We need to be willing to allow them to live their experience in their way and not judge that it isn’t as good because it was not how we lived our experience. This does not mean that we are going to change the content of our experiences, but that we are willing to look at how we deliver it to make it more attractive, more meaningful, more relevant to where our couples and priests are today. We need to listen to our couples with young families and younger priests to get them involved.
At this time, among
many, we can mention: First, as individuals and as a married couple we must
strongly encourage the values that lead us to be a true domestic church:
praying together as a married couple and family, being a married couple with
responsibility and intimacy, witnessing our lives everywhere, helping the
church in forming and evangelizing society Also, we firmly believe that within
our movement, we must take actions that will transform the way we communicate
with the new generations. We must be attractive by adapting our experiences
to a new dynamic
P: We are walking together in a new time, at a time when we need to renew in our hearts the greatest trust and surrender in what Love is. Love gives security, love gives unity, love gives strength and if we are united in love we will create this solidarity and strength that we need to move forward in these new times.
Susana and Josico: For many, the weekend continues to be a beautiful experience. Some even experience some change in their relationship. But are we sure that there is a real experience of conversion nowadays? Chuck Gallagher often reminded us that the weekend is, and should be, a conversion experience. Only then can we truly change the world. Worldwide Marriage Encounter is a missionary, evangelizer movement. Has Worldwide Marriage Encounter lost the ability to change the world? The world is changing, and Worldwide Marriage Encounter has to transform itself in order to continue its mission of conversion.
C: I believe we are on the right road of
discovery, with the launch of our new Brand and refreshed image. And we believe
that our new Brand for Worldwide Marriage Encounter speaks volume and is a
great vibrant symbol of what we stand for.......
TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER AS I HAVE LOVED YOU!
P: Our new branding is exactly looking for that,
to show a love and vigour in who we are so they may trust that we can provide
for their needs. We are challenged to change not just a logo but the whole way
we present ourselves to them. Certainly we do not want to present a mask but
our loving hearts in a new way that today’s people may identify with.
Susana and Josico: Years ago, we, like many others, dreamed of a Marriage Encounter for our daughters. We have always wondered how to symbolize that Marriage Encounter, which would be the same as always and at the same time would speak the language of the new generations. In doing so, we envisioned a different, modern and attractive brand image. This led us to propose at our first World Council meeting the need to renew our image with a new logo. can reveal to you the result of this effort in which the North American community has participated very actively.
For decades, Worldwide
Marriage Encounter has helped couples and priests find new ways to thrive
together and live their vocations in love.
Marriage in today’s
world is changing as our society changes. The pace of modern life is faster,
the stresses on couples more demanding. Technology affords us many conveniences
but However, our movement has been overshadowed and is nearly invisible. Many
have called our Marriage Encounter experience “the best kept secret around”. So,
why is WWME not catching on like other options out there?
Well, the secret is out!
We are proud to announce that after more than TODAY, we unveil A NEW WAY
FORWARD for Worldwide Marriage Encounter: A new way that honors traditions of
our past with a FRESH outlook to serve the couples and priests who have yet to
experience our powerful enrichment. A new way to tell our story with youthful
and energetic visuals that connect with today’s couples, to help us seize the
digital revolution. And most of all, a new way forward WITH YOU, the most
passionate ambassadors on earth, to help us tell the world and change the
world! Let’s DREAM BIG for tomorrow’s couples and priests! Let’s thrive
together and help others live their best life in love! Worldwide Marriage
Encounter. thriving together
Susana and Josico: Beautiful, isn’t it? We feel so excited!
Our new logo opens the door to new challenges. By speaking the language of the world... in a society where branding is important, we now have an attractive brand that represents us and makes us more significant to others. However, you must not forget that it is YOUR responsibility to fill this logo with meaning. Please, do not forget that the true brand of the movement is YOUR LOVE IN RELATIONSHIP. What better brand for Worldwide Marriage Encounter than couples and priests who live their sacraments in a different way?
We are coming to the end
of this world meeting, and we want to give thanks for what we have
experienced.
Fr. Jun: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Heavenly Father, As your son Jesus has loved us, May we prayerfully share in your dream of uniting all things in You; As your son Jesus has loved us, May we faithfully keep the joy of being loved; son Jesus has loved us, May we sacrificially serve your Church through the Worldwide Marriage Encounter; As your son Jesus has loved us, May we steadfastly value our Sacraments through the witness of our life; As your son Jesus has loved us, May we consciously love one another and see Your face among our brothers and sisters in the world. Through Christ our Lord, through the intercessionof Mary our Mother, Amen.
The time has come to say
goodbye. We don't want to do this without thanking everyone who has made this
possible. We can't name them all, but they know who we mean. Thank you. :-) Now
we feel full of hope thinking about the future, excited by the changes that are
coming,
and grateful to God for
continuing to accompany us with his spirit in this crazy Adventure. May we continue
to fulfill our dreams. And finally, one last surprise that symbolizes what we
are: a universal movement. We wish you a good summer. Take care. We love you.
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sag1R-zGqLU
Fr.
Arulkumar sdb
RET-TN
28-6-2020
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