RENEWED WITH THE
SPIRIT
“You
be renewed in the spirit of your mind.” (Eph 4: 23)
Stephen
Covey in his book The Seven Habits of
Highly Effective Families emphasizes the importance of family renewal,
which he calls “family-times” and “one-on-ones.” Family renewal involves a look
at the total wellbeing of a family. He presents this diagram as a model for the
renewal of the family. These activities can renew the spirit of the family
living and bring better life.
Along with
it let me also present to you three ways to renew the family taking inspiration
from Holy Family. Firstly, family life devoid of problems is not imaginable but
confronting these problems with mutual love and trust is possible. When Joseph
became aware of Mary’s pregnancy, he was unwilling to expose her but decided to
divorce her quietly. He did not want to expose Mary due to his love and trust
for her and in her. Later, he accepted Mary when the angel explained God’s plan
to him. So, the love and trust which was the stumbling block for the
relationship becomes the source of relationship through faith in God and in his
plan. Therefore, families can overcome the problems if they build up love and
trust and seek God’s grace. We cannot seek God’s grace without love and trust.
God’s grace can work only in love and trust. Hence, family renewal can begin
only through love and trust.
Secondly,
families fall victim to disintegration due to dearth of perseverance. There is
growing vacuum in relationship among family member in the modern society. We
have more people to talk, to suggest, and to advise in the family and we have
no one to listen. Since, we are living in a world where we run and live like
machines; we look for immediate results and try to breakup relationships
immediately for simple and stupid reasons. Even children find difficult to obey
their parents when they begin to mature in age and understanding. Hence, there
is the need to renew our relationship through listening, obeying and accepting
each other. We see in the holy family Christ staying with His parents for the
entirety of His youth and was obedient to them (Luke 2:51). Christ, our Lord,
renewed his family living with his obedience, acceptance and perseverance.
Thirdly, facing
the situation as it comes and accepting the circumstance at hand is another
major problem that families face. It does not mean that accepting the abusive
and problematic situations and living our life without addressing it. Facing
the circumstance at hand, as a family can be of a great help to renew its bond
among its members. No individual family member should be allowed to face the
situation at hand alone. Standing along with the family member, when one faces
difficulties, renew the spirit of the family and bring unity. We could such a
spirit in the Holy Family. Every time they faced the situation at hand (Joseph
accepting Mary as his wife, finding child Jesus at the temple, journey to
Egypt, etc.), each one was supporting the other and no one blamed the other.
This is the secret of living together. Hence, Let us use these three ways and
renew the spirit of living together as a family in the modern society.
My Experience with
ME (Marriage Encounter Programme)
I would consider my encounter and my
involvement with ME as a miracle. As an ordinary Salesian priest, I was doing
my ministry of being with the young children and youth in various institutions.
I came to know lots of their problems and difficulties. I also read and
listened to some of the youngsters sharing about their family problems and
breakups in the family. At that time, I was introduced to ME by Mr. Durairaj
and Mrs. Alphonsa. I attended the weekend programmes at Coimbatore. This
experience changed me. I started to listen to people. I realized, I was becoming
a better listener. Then, I was slowly convinced that listening to people can
solve lots of problems and can bring unity. Hence, I started committing myself
to the weekend programmes. And my Salesian community was also supporting me and
encouraging me to involve in this ministry. Later, along with the REC office
bearers, I was also elected as a RET priest in-charge from Coimbatore unit.
After my term as RET, I decided not to take up any responsibility but wanted to
travel with ME as a priest who accompanies. But, due to insistence of my unit,
I also filled the form for NET. During the National conference, my name also
came up for NET. It was surprise for me. I never thought that I would be
elected. When I was elected, I said to myself, God never calls the talented and
intellectual whereas he forms the called ones through various means to become
good servants of Him. I was humbled by this election. It helped me to
understand my responsibility and grow as a Salesian priest. Each time, I
participate in the marriage encounter programmes and meetings, I am inspirited
by the couple who animate and organise. I am inspired by their commitment,
example and enthusiasm. You all live out your vocation to family life and bear
witness and become source of inspiration to many. Your contribution and
commitment to build the universal church is adorable. Let us journey together
to make more families to journey together.
+ Fr. Arulkumar
WWME- NET
