Marriage
Counselor: 10 Characteristics of a Conscious Marriage
By Michael Russell 
The aim of marriage counselling
should be to help couple move towards a conscious marriage. A definition of
this would be a marriage that allows the opportunity for maximum psychological
and spiritual growth by becoming conscious of and cooperating with the basic
goals of the unconscious mind: to be safe, to be healed and to be whole.
1. The hidden purpose of marriage is
to heal childhood wounds.
This involves helping individuals
recognize their unresolved childhood issues and how these issues underlie their
current behaviour and emotions. This will help people to transcend their
surface needs and desires and provide them with great insight into their
everyday interactions.
2. Creating a more accurate image of
a persons' partner.
People tend to fuse their lover with
their primary caretaker and then project their own negative traits onto their
partner. In a conscious marriage these illusions gradually become shattered and
one begins to see their partner as they really are; another wounded person
struggling to be healed.
3. A person takes responsibility for
communicating their needs and desires to their partner.
In an unconscious marriage a person
expects their partner to intuitively meet their needs. A conscious marriage
involves the understanding that needs require clear communication.
4. Your interactions become more
intentional.
A conscious marriage entails
behaving in a more constructive manner as opposed to merely reacting without
thinking.
5. An individual values their
partners' needs as much as their own.
More energy is devoted to looking
after ones' partner instead of mistakenly assuming that the role of the partner
is to look after ones' every wish and desire.
6. A person embraces their negative
traits.
The individual openly acknowledges
the fact that they have a dark side to their personality, just like everyone
else. By accepting this, a person is less likely to project these negative
traits onto their partner, which serves to create a more pleasant environment.
7. New methods are learned to
satisfy ones' basic needs and desires.
When couples are locked in a power
struggle, the partners tend to use negative tactics in an attempt to coerce the
other to meet their needs. In a conscious marriage this can be transcended and
a realization develops that the partner can help one meet their needs but only
when more constructive and cooperative tactics are employed.
8. A person will learn to look
inwards for the strengths and abilities they are lacking.
Partners are chosen because an
individual can see in them all the abilities and strengths that they do not
have. This then leads to an illusory sense of wholeness. However, in a
conscious marriage a person learns that wholeness results from finding these
positive traits within themselves.
9. An awareness develops of the
motivation to become loving, whole and at one with the universe.
Everyone has the God-given ability
to love unconditionally and experience the unity of nature and the world.
However, due to imperfect parenting and social conditioning these qualities are
almost all but forgotten. A conscious marriage provides the opportunity to
rediscover these qualities and experience ones' original nature.
10. The fact that creating a
conscious marriage is difficult is accepted.
Typically, in an unconscious
marriage, a person feels that a successful relationship involves being with the
right person. In a conscious marriage, a person comes to the realization that
they are with the right partner. Further, an understanding begins to develop
that a good marriage requires constant hard work, courage and commitment.
|
Michael Russell Your Independent
guide to Marriage Councelor Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Russell |
கருத்துகள் இல்லை:
கருத்துரையிடுக