Build a Stronger Marriage by Using the Relationship
Goals as Priorities
Relationship goals—Where to begin:
First,
pick an area of your relationship that you’d like to work on. Here are some
examples:
1. Communication goals: How can you
become a better communicator? This might involve asking your partner more
questions about his/her job, not interrupting your partner while s/he is
speaking, or stating your needs more directly.
2. Compassion/support goals: This might involve
asking your partner what s/he needs, driving him/her to a doctor’s appointment,
or setting aside a certain amount of time each day to check in with each other.
3. Affection/love goals: How often and
how clearly do you express your emotions? Being affectionate can take on many
different forms: directly with loving statements; through touch, such as
hand-holding or a shoulder rub; or by establishing special gestures that only
the two of you share. Establishing goals to be more demonstrative means finding
creative ways to express loving feelings on a regular basis.
3. Negotiation/compromise goals: Being in a
committed relationship means learning to compromise. Taking steps to appreciate
your partner’s viewpoint (even when you may not agree with him/her) sends the
message that you take your partner’s needs seriously. Negotiating and learning
to “agree to disagree” are essential for the health of your relationship.
4. Commitment goals: You can’t feel
an intimate connection with another human being unless you first feel safe with
him/her. When you demonstrate commitment, you lay the groundwork for emotional
safety and therefore, for intimacy. Think of commitment like a safety net: even
during difficult times, that commitment will be there to break your fall. Establishing
commitment goals might involve spending more time with your partner or making
decisions that clearly demonstrate that your relationship is a top priority in
your life.
5. Physical intimacy goals: Take steps to
become a more attuned, responsive sexual partner. For instance, take the time
to discover all the ways in which your partner would like to be sexually
satisfied or come to an agreement with your partner regarding how often you’d
both like to make love.
6. Shared interests/activities goals: The most
successful married couples cite friendship as a key ingredient of their
long-term success. Work toward developing activities that you both enjoy and
that you both enjoy sharing with one another. You might try a new
activity together each month, such as taking tennis lessons or learning to
speak a new language.
7. Household responsibility goals: How involved
are you with completing household chores? Does it feel like the work is equally
or fairly divided? The mundane details of daily life (things like cooking,
shopping, cleaning) should be negotiated, not just assumed by default. Find out
if your partner is happy with the current arrangement by asking if there is
more that you can do.
This
list is by no means exhaustive. Reflect on the areas of your relationship that
you’d like to improve. Do some introspecting on your own and also think back to
feedback you may have already received from your partner. For instance, if your
partner has questioned your commitment by noting, “You never call when you say
you’re going to,” you can develop a goal to show your commitment by becoming
more reliable in following through on your promises.
Is
your relationship worth protecting? Are you ready to make your marriage
everything it can be?
Find
out how to create the relationship of your dreams: Sign up for the free
Relationship Toolbox Newsletter at http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and
immediately receive two FREE reports that will help you achieve your
relationship potential.
Article
Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Richard_Nicastro
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